The Nature of Demons
by Cairnsy
Summary: An injured Kai-stern, a domestic Cesia, and the complexities of defining demons. Slight Rath x Cesia.


_Author's notes:_ Just a little ditty thought up while I was studying for my uni exams. Possibly should have waited until after my exams to post this, as it is currently very rough, but ... eh. I'm not overly dedicated to this piece, it didn't turn out quite like I planned and I don't care enough about it to fix up the major problems with it. I'm such a dedicated writer snorts

Takes place during Book 9, when an injured Kai-stern is being looked after by Rath and Cesia.

All thoughts/review welcome.

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**The Nature of Demons.**

There is something so very domestic about tending an injured man, that Cesia finds herself feeling almost guilty for the way she hums as she collects more bandages for Kai-stern. She knows that the Dragon Officer has been hurt rather badly, just as she knows that a new type of fear now stains Rath's eyes. It's a fear that has little to do with demon blood or new enemies, and far more to do with the complexities involved with being human, and how immortality is merely a title as opposed to the promise Rath had always held it to be.

Rath is not used to tending Kai-stern, as opposed to being tended. He certainly does not hum guiltily as Cesia does, forcing away troubles and doubts behind the sheer normalcy of the situation.

It's nice to simply pretend, sometimes. Pretend that this is as complicated as life gets, caring for an injured acquaintance, far, far away from anything dark and foreboding, further still from the part of herself she tries the most to deny.

Rath doesn't notice that it is sometimes all a selfish show that she puts on for her own sanity. Kai-stern does see through it all, bandaged and bruised as he is, unassuming eyes that hold no blame or anger revealing that he knows each of her thoughts and pretences, but judges nothing.

And Kai-stern should judge, should glare at her with weary eyes laced with hate. Kai-stern certainly shouldn't allow her time alone with Rath, whom even those who have only just met the pair know that Kai-stern loves beyond all boundaries of friendship and deeper into the undefinable. A love devoid of lust, she finds she is as jealous as she is mournful of Kai-stern's emotions, for they obviously tear the man so, never seeing those emotions returned on the level they are gifted so freely.

It is one thing that perhaps the all seeing Kai-stern is blind to, or perhaps he barely dares to hope that his eyes do not belie his heart. Either way, Cesia sees in Rath's attention to the fallen Dragon Officer something Kai-stern every refuses to or cannot, and that is a love that is as undefinable as Kai-stern's.

But it is love, nevertheless.

It's a love that she doubts she will ever know. Pure, undiluted by passion, Cesia is not altogether sure that she ever wants to experience emotion quite on that level, as she cannot see a world where such devotion cannot meet its end in the most tragic of ways.

And so, she is jealous; and she mourns. And she hums quietly beneath her breath as she re-wraps Kai-stern's bandages, wincing as she winds white around pale skin scarred in ways flesh should not be. Faded, entwining lines mar forever youthful skin an age that time itself cannot, and she wonders silently, as Kai-stern tries to hide his grimaces, where each of the older scars come from, and what battles they represent.

A clash of pots smashing against wood filters through from the kitchen, followed by a wave of curses that Cesia cannot help but find impressive. Kai-stern chokes back a laugh, although Cesia is not sure whether it is smothered by pain or a desire to keep hidden his amusement, and Cesia allows herself a small grin of her own.

If anything, Cesia has bonded with Kai-stern over Rath's dangerously bad cooking.

Sometimes, when the two of them are like this, Cesia finds herself talking about things that she perhaps wouldn't if this was taking back in the castle, surrounded by such things as reality and duty. She isn't always all that sure what she babbles on about sometimes, and sometimes she thinks that Kai-stern doesn't, either. But the human nods in most of the right places, and smiles that gentle smile warmed with humour that is so uniquely Kai-stern's.

She doesn't realise that she has taken to babbling about Rath today, until Kai-stern makes note of it. It is not rare for them to discuss Rath, it is after all a favoured topic for both of them. Cesia has found she can talk forever about Rath, about his bravery and his problems, his strengths and his weaknesses. She cannot talk to anyone else about Rath as she can Kai-stern, who understands and _knows_ on a level that no one else does.

For some reason, today she finds herself talking about demons, and how they effect Rath.

How they effect her.

And Kai-stern listens and he smiles, yet his eyes darken slightly from golden to honey, and his slowly stiffening form is a result of a different kind of pain to usual.

It is when she wonders aloud exactly how she and Rath will overcome their demon aspects, and how difficult it is sometimes that no one else can properly understand what they are going through, that Kai-stern's smile falters completely, setting in a thin, serious line. He looks as though he is going to say something, rebuff Cesia in a manner that he has never done before, and Cesia wonders exactly what she has done to have earned the wrath of the ever friendly Kai-stern. But then Kai-stern's smile is back, this time with a vaguely paternal edge.

"I forget sometimes how young you both are," Kai-stern says through his smile, struggling slightly to sit up on his own. Cesia feels that she should possibly be insulted, but she has only rarely ever seen Kai-stern speak in a manner that is meant to offend, and almost always then Alfeegi is the target. "You are right on some level, Cesia." His words are quietly spoken, but their is a weight there that dampens the air with an oft absent seriousness. "We cannot understand in any form of totality what either you or Rath are going through." He pauses, searching for the right words, or so it seems to Cesia. "But when it comes to the nature of demons, you would be surprised about how much we know."

"I don't understand." And she doesn't. Cannot. Especially coming from the very much human, Kai-stern.

"Demons do not merely manifest themselves through physicals forms," comes Kai-stern's gentle reply. "Everyone in Draqueen has personal demons they must fight, be it Tetheus, Alfeegi, Rath and Thatz..."

And the injured man before her.

She wonders if the scars that are scattered across Kai-stern's physical form have their roots deeper, or whether there is simply a completely different set of scars that she cannot see.

"I know you feel as though this all too much for any for any of us to really comprehend, Cesia. But you and Rath need to have some faith in us all - some of us have been fighting demons for a very long time." Kai-stern smiles briefly as he finishes, but his eyes cloud over, his thoughts seemingly turning inwards. The Dragon Officer drifts far away from Cesia, and she feels as though he is perhaps gazing on his own demons. What she cannot tell is whether he is taunting them or is instead terrified.

For that one moment, she desperately wants to know what demons reside within the Dragon Officer. But then, Kai-stern returns from his thoughts, and there is such a resignation haunting him that she realises that there are some things that are too sad to ever truly want an answer to.

There is still a chance that she and Rath will conquer all of this, regardless of how horrific a path they must first forge. Eternal, optimistic Kai-stern who projects hope and dedication and love -always love - seems to have already lost his nameless battle.

She suddenly feels like crying.

Cesia cannot even imagine what Rath thinks when he chooses that moment to enter, twin bowls of soup in his hands. Rath looks between them both, one pale with realisation, the other appearing vaguely apologetic, although Cesia doubts Kai-stern has any real idea what exactly it is he is apologising for. Rath's own confusion melts almost instantly, however, for it is hard to glance at Kai-stern without realising at the same time that he is sitting up on his own, a new development.

This time, when Rath flings himself into Kai-stern's arms, causing the other man to break into the most beautiful of smiles, Cesia feels no jealously.

She simply mourns.

It seems that perhaps that she is not the only one taken by this pretence of normalcy.

When she hums as she brings in a book for the injured man the next day, it is no longer merely for her own benefit.


End file.
